Alternative Dictionary

The Alternative Dictionary For The Forex

Advisor - anyone who charges money for stock advice to cover his/her losses in the market.
Afternoon - the daily opportunity to give back all the money you made that morning.

Bull Market - a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market - a six to eighteen month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex!
Break - what you take when you either 2 winners or 5 losers in a row.
Broker - what my broker has made me.

Chart - what you check after you exit a trade to try and figure out what went wrong.
Confusion - 7 open positions.
Cash Flow - the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
CEO - chief embezzlement officer.

Day Trade - a trade where you get in way too late and get out way too early.

Expert - a new guy who hasn't started trading yet.

Fundamental Analysis - the process of checking to see if you can short a stock.

Genius - what a apprentice thinks you are if you luck out three times in a row.
Gap Up - a stock that opens higher than it closed the day before, and will go down if you buy it, but it will continue to go up if you short it.

Institutional Investor - past year investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse.

Lucky Trade - a winning trade that somebody else made that doesn't fit your strategy.
Lunch Money - what you throw away between 11 am and 1 pm.

Market Correction - the day after you buy stock.
Moving Average - a wavy line that has nothing to do with price movement if you have an open position.
Moron - the bonehead who buys your winning long position.

Profit - religious guy who talks to God.
Pro - any guy at the trading centre who never says anything and is usually smiling.

Scalping - losing only an eight at a time.
Stock Split - when your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Spread - (if a winning trade) sharing the wealth (if a losing trade) an evil market maker ripping you off.

Technical Analysis - voodoo without the animal blood and chanting.
Trend Line - the imaginary line on a price chart that only changes when the market is closed or when you are not looking.

Value Investing - the art of buying low and selling lower.

Volume Spike - (open position) confirmation that you are either the smartest person in the world or the biggest idiot (no position) confirmation that you are the smartest person in the world but you were not paying attention.

Windows - what you jump out of when you're the sucker that brought Yahoo for $250 per share.

YA HOO - what you yell after selling all you owned to some poor sucker for $250 per share.
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