Trading Humour



Now for something a little light hearted, let's have some trading humour.

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.


My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his.


The best time to buy anything is last year.


Trading online is great...I find it really speeds thing up.I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before.


Essential piece of trading kit…


Stockbroker: "What is a million years like for you?"
God: "like a second."
Stockbroker: "What is a million dollars like to you?"
God: "Like a penny."
Stockbroker: "Can I have a penny?"
God: "Just a second..."


Once upon a time, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest catching them.

The man brought thousands at $10 and as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch one.

The man announced that he would buy monkeys at $59! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villages rounded up all their savings and brought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.


Not saying the FT is full of hot air but…


The Alternative Dictionary for the forex. Some definitions for trading terminological but, put in a way that you might never have seen before.

Traders shouldn't take everything so seriously, have you ever had a hilarious moment trading? Share your story, joke or even a funny picture/video here. Or do you have an entry for our alternative trading dictionary? Then enter them here!




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